You appreciate the better things of life and you don’t particularly want to strive in order to achieve them. What a pity you were not born into the Gentry with servants, etc. Unfortunately - life is not like that. You have the ability to be whatever it is that you would like to be but you must make the effort.

You ‘need to be needed’. As an idealist you are intolerant of anything short of special consideration from those close to you. If you do not get what you seek you are apt to become reclusive and you will close the doors on all those within your sphere of influence.

Your confidence has been shattered. There are so many things that you would like to do with your life, so many dreams to be fulfilled - and you know that your hopes and dreams are not just figments of your imagination, they are real and you are looking for reassurance from someone. Basically your fears are such that you may be prevented in attaining your hopes and dreams. Even now you would like to broaden your fields of endeavour but in order to develop your ‘inner- self’ you need peace and solace. You are distressed by the fear that you may be prevented from attaining your goals. What you really need at this particular moment in time is quiet reassurance from someone close to you to restore your confidence.

Your ability to withstand the pressures of everyday life have been overtaxed and this is leading to stress and frustrations. It would seem that for the time being you have lost the resilience and strength of will necessary to contend with existing difficulties. You feel that it is all ‘too much’ and, try as you may, you are getting nowhere. But to give you credit, you continue to stand your ground and pursue your objectives with a fierce intensity. Naturally this situation is subjecting you to intolerable stress and pressure from which you would dearly like to escape, but you can not bring yourself to make the necessary decision. As a result you remain firmly involved in the problem and you can neither view it objectively nor get rid of it - you cannot leave it alone and you feel that you will only be at peace when you have reached your objective.

There is an inherent fear that you may be prevented from achieving the things you want. This activates your subconscious desire for peace of mind and mental security. It is increasingly obvious to you that the environment that you are in is not conducive to your well-being and so you are seeking fresh fields - somewhere free of conflict where you can RELAX and THINK.

and i just dont matter

its one of those nights
words are hard to
to
to
to to to to

i don’t know what to say
i feel like shit i feel like a mess i
dont actually know what i feel like but those are the first things that come to my mind

and i cant think and i cant think and i can’t really think right now because

its the caffeine that does it
and i don’t know why i do it to myself
i know what’s going to happen because it always does and i always wonder
why do i feel like this hm
why do i feel like a piece of shit
why do i feel like nothing i do is fucking good enough
fucking right
fucking worth it
fucking worth anything
why do i bother

i’m depressed
i’m stressed
i’m poor
i’m anxious
i’m confused
i’m under appreciated

do i stop trying
do i keep going
what the fuck do i do
when it doesn’t seem like anything i do already
even
fucking
matters

i’m not a writer
i’m not an artist
no one will see me as anything
because i have nothing going
for
me

i just don’t know what to say

fuckin a.

i wish i could write better. i wish i could draw better. idk what i can do anymore… guess i’ll never be appreciated for what i do do though so i wonder sometimes why i bother

And by everything, I literally mean everything. I notice when someone stops hitting me up like they used to. I notice when the way someone talks to me starts changing. I notice the little things that people do, and the little things they used to do. I notice when things change, and when it’s no longer the same. I notice every single little detail. I just don’t say anything.

asymptotic-:

“I love you” means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I don’t want to change anything about you. It means that I will love you, and stand by you even through the worst times. It means loving you when you’re in a bad mood or too tired to do things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, and being around you when you’re not all that pleasant to be with. “I love you” means that I know your deepest secrets and don’t judge you for them, that I trust you enough to tell you mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go.

esdafable:

Sometimes when I feel sad and I don’t know why, I feel separate from everyone else regardless of how I’m treated. Regardless of how inclusive or friendly everyone is being. And I have to remind myself that I’ll feel better later and that feeling isn’t for eternity.

But for all those who feel the same way sometimes, know that someone out there feels the same way too.

i know this all too fucking well…

i feel really… useless sometimes and like i can’t do anything good. anything worth being noticed.

i wonder sometimes why i try.

fuckin a i suck.

idk what to do sometimes god. i wish i could just do shit and not worry and just

write without fucking caring and just

idk